The Love Coach: The Summer of Self Love

By 16,July, 2018 2 Comments

Let exuberance replace lethargy! Summer has landed here in London.

dating, enjoy life, love, love yourself, refocus on you, relationships, self-love, soul searching, summer fling, summer love, the Love Coach, vacation

It’s a sure sign when its inhabitants, who spend the majority of our sun-starved year complaining about the cold and the rain, begin complaining with equal passion that it is too damn hot!

We collectively emerge from our fleece onesies and winter-dark clothing like butterflies from cocoons, as the sun begins to melt our inhibitions. It’s easier to mingle more and stay out later; allowing the warm weather to coax our inner socialite off the couch, away from those vacuous dating apps, and through the doors of new opportunity and adventure.

As a relationship coach, I typically offer advice about how to find self-love and how to know what to look for in a relationship. Instead, I’m breaking with the usual routine this month and prompting readers to use this time to adventure beyond – to escape and see “what if.”

Whether its taking off to enjoy a desired place by yourself or roaming with girlfriends or a small group, we all seem to have a little more time for romance to blossom.

In June we focused on the healing properties of water, so imagine the the rejuvenating opportunities when you discover new cultures and foreign lands? And, the magic is yet more potent when we take time away from our comfortable peer groups, looming bills, or a still-raw heartbreak and find a space where we can let go. Why this change of advice for July? Because sometimes the best things happen when we are more open and stop waiting for happiness to find us.

dating, enjoy life, love, love yourself, refocus on you, relationships, self-love, soul searching, summer fling, summer love, the Love Coach, vacation

On holiday or during the summer, it is often easier to hear nature’s orchestra – waves crashing to the shore, or the chorus of birdsong amidst the stillness of the mountains evokes a romance with nature. We naturally crave connections with other hearts and want to find love, but it’s important to listen to nature and to be strategic about our choice destination.

For example, ask yourself what do you need in your life right now? Who do you wish to encounter? I’ve listed a few tips as little guide if you’re uncertain…

If you’re craving adventure, or a dramatic change of scenery, places like Vietnam or Bali are just moments away if you live in London like I do.

In India, for example, idyllic beaches, tropical highlands, yogic ashrams and resplendent palaces await.

If it’s the high life you covet and can afford, grab your collector Louis luggage and head to the South of France, The Amalfi Coast, Mykonos, or Santorini are just two places to luxuriate in sophistication as you sip hand-delivered Rosé or cocktails poolside. Heading out into the night for the ultimate people-watching experience may be just the ticket for sweeping you off your Louboutin feet.

But, if you’re like most humans, this all sounds too over-the-top expensive and the stuff of movies.

Your budget may not accommodate this kind of opdating, enjoy life, love, love yourself, refocus on you, relationships, self-love, soul searching, summer fling, summer love, the Love Coach, vacationulence, so look for value vacations with pristine beaches and big waves (a.k.a. surfer magnets).

Maybe you’re hoping to dance-why not? Dancing until dawn or joining a wellness retreat where you can dance freely under the light of the moon may be just the thing to help you namaste, your way, to feel and look great this summer.

The key point is to HAVE FUN. Enjoy that romantic al fresco candlelit dinner you’ve envisioned – with yourself or surrounded by new friends. A flirtatious excursion to a countryside vineyard,or staying up all night to watch the sunrise over the ocean are some experiences you can enjoy alone or in the company of others..

Be realistic with your expectations and don’t forget – the point is to stay relaxed and not to overthink every choice you make. Many times, single people get in their own way by thinking they need to meet a potential love mate when they go on a trip. Yet no one wants to chase a crush away, so don’t get caught up in the moment!

And, if you can’t go on holiday for whatever reason, then BRING THE HOLIDAY TO YOU!

dating, enjoy life, love, love yourself, refocus on you, relationships, self-love, soul searching, summer fling, summer love, the Love Coach, vacationTake that time to explore the area in which you are living. We tend to take the places we reside for granted. We frequent the same bars, restaurants and get stuck in a comfort zone. There are many hidden treasures to explore outside of the box…

Discover new parts of town, visit new museums, parks, restaurants, all the usual mingling spots. Spend time in nature: go for long contemplative walks, allowing yourself time for reflection – it’s grounding to check in with yourself every so often. If there’s an open-air cinema not far from you, grab some popcorn and get yourself a seat, or for a livelier outing, hop over to a nearby concert of festival – summer is high season for these events!

Ok, enough with the touristic advice!

Take summer as the perfect time to reflect upon how the year has been for you thus far. We are halfway through 2018, so check in on all those intentions and resolutions you made back in January.

Bring the attention back to yourself; real happiness starts from within. It is not at all selfish to adopt a “ME FIRST” approach; no relationship, job, or situation can bring you lasting joy unless you are truly happy in yourself. Equally, you will be unable to give your best self to the people that are important to you until you find inner peace.

If you are single, don’t put pressure yourself, clasping every fling in the hope it will turn into a true love story.

Hollywood has embellished the dream of summer love over the years. Countless romantic comedies have shown us two strangers meeting on holidays, starting with a casual affair which swiftly blossoms into true love.

But in the real world, fairytales very rarely happen. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but only 7% of foreign flings enjoy success according to tripadvisor. Let go of any expectations or future-focused concerns and trust in MAMA UNIVERSE.

Wherever you find yourself this summer, if I can offer you one nugget of advice it will be this: each morning take a deep breath and appreciate the blessing of being able to travel. Let your gratitude expand your comfort zone; explore new lands, make new friends, and renew your LOVE FOR LIFE.

Elsa Pastelle

Author Elsa Pastelle

Pastelle is a life coach who works with a team of experts at Pastelle Consultancy. Together, they provide clients with the skills and confidence to find love. Whether its self-love or finding a partner, Pastelle tackles impediments that stop people from achieving this fundamental universal goal in every culture. Born and raised in Cameroon, Pastelle moved to Paris as a teenager before settling in London, England. She is a hopeless romantic and intrepid traveler who enjoys befriending and working with people from all four corners of the globe. Elsa Pastelle – Cameron-born, Paris-raised and London-based consultant writing about how love and relationships in her series “The Love Coach”

More posts by Elsa Pastelle

Join the discussion 2 Comments

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.